Silent Speakings

“Strong silent type”???

Why does being a quiet person have such a bad reputation? I don’t get why being quiet is such a bad thing. People point it out like you have the plaque or something.

I think it has something to do with perception. In western society quietness is almost perceived as weakness. I think it’s because we are perceived as timid, unambitious and unconfident in a society where boldness, ambition, and confidence are worshipped. There is nothing wrong with being quiet. The problem lies with today’s society. It really is that simple. As soon as society deems something or a certain quality unacceptable, those who possess those qualities are automatically outcasted. I think as society has become more self-centered (it’s all about me and right now!), people don’t have the patience to take the time to draw out the quiet ones like us. I mean What ever happened to the “strong silent type”?!?! What happened to “still waters run deep?!?!

I still remember one horrible day in middle school when a math teacher called attention to my quietness. He told the whole class that I was the quietest student he’d ever had in his 22 years of teaching. Of course, everyone turned around to look at me. I was humiliated. I truly believed there was something wrong with me. Unfortunately, an accumulation of such experiences led me to hate myself for being so reserved. I’ve since stopped hating myself, in fact I’ve come to love my personality, and I even joke about it myself, but I have to admit, I still cringe when I hear myself described as “Shy” though. I’ve even dubbed it  the “S word,” as if it’s some sort of three-letter expletive. I am not shy. Shy is a different category. It is a fear of making contact or an extreme fear of rejection. While quiet people are, for the most part, compleatly confident in their own skin. They’re just more reserved than others.

So what’s so bad about being quiet? Why is it so difficult to accept, even embrace it as a source of strength?:

Because unfortunatly, the world is ruled by extroverts.

Society rewards extroverts. They get the job, the money, the boy (or girl), and the front page. Fortune 500 companies are run by 499 extroverts, plus Bill Gates. There are 435 extroverts in the House of Representatives and 100 in the Senate, two from each state. Even most office layouts, where space per employee has shrunk from 500 square feet in the 1970s to 200 square feet today, favors the extrovert who likes interaction.

Introverts are much less often groomed for leadership positions, even though research shows introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes. Because they’re more likely to let their employees run with their ideas, whereas an extroverted leader might, almost unwittingly, be more dominant and be putting their own stamp on things.

The extrovert-introvert divide also plays out in the classroom, where the student who is quick to raise his or her hand with an answer, maybe even the wrong answer, wins favor over the introvert who knows the right answer but says nothing.

Yep, its a big extroverted world out there, but I shouldn’t have to say this, there is a place in the world for introverts. Show me the ten most innovative minds of the 20th Century and I will show you ten introverts. From Einstein to Wittgenstein, not one of them could carry a conversation if you put handles on it. I’m grateful they lived and died before our society had the chance to “fix them”.

“Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.” -Napoleon Hill

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See Post tags #introverts #quiet #quiet people #shy #strong #silent #introvert #introverted