July 30, 2014


Introverts unite!. Separately… in our own homes…

"You’re too quiet"
This comment and others like it have plagued me almost my whole life. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I needed to come out of my shell, to be livelier, or talk more. As a child and teenager I allowed these these remarks to hurt me deeply. For awhile I listened to this kind of ignorant advice. I thought they we’re right about there being something wrong with me, and in the process didn’t honor the way God made me. I became more and more reserved, and self-conscious. I was constantly aware of people waiting for me to talk, and when I did the response didn’t make it better, “wow, she talked”

The older I got, the angrier I became. Each time someone tells me I’m “too quiet”, I wonder what exactly they are hoping to achieve. Do they think that I have some sort of magic button I can press, and BAM I’m little miss talkative. It doesn’t really work that way, sorry. Am I supposed to bark on command like a dog?, Am I supposed to just dive into a conversation that I’m completely uninterested in? I prefer deep and meaning full conversation, small talk just makes me cringe. When I need or want to communicate something, I will, and I will do so effectively. I only speak when I have something to say.

Science shows that the brains of introverts and extroverts are actually different, and hardwired differently. God made introverts physically different from extroverts. It’s not a personality, or temperament. It’s not a habit to change its who God created us to be.

Work with how God made you, God makes us this way for a reason and a purpose. I consider my quietness to be a gift, just like the talents and spiritual gifts God has give me, that make me a unique creation.

The hallmarks of introversion tend to be thinking more than speaking, recharging one’s batteries through solitude and thriving on good conversation with a small group of close friends rather than a large party of acquaintances.

appreciation for introversion has slowly come more to the forefront. A spate of books on the topic have been published in the last two years, including Quiet by Susan Cain and Introverts in the Church by Adam S. McHugh. Both suggest that introverts often zap their energy endlessly trying to “play extrovert,” while ignoring their own inherent talents and gifts.

God made many different types of personalities, and He gave us all a multitude of special strengths to use for His glory. we hear that a gentle and quiet spirit is very precious in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:4) and that we should be quick to hear and slow to speak (James 1:19). We should use what we have been given, not try to hide it and force ourselves to attempt to gain what comes naturally to others. Let go of the insecurities and brokenness that comes from people’s careless words, and find peace in who you are in Christ.

Well with my slight ranting over, I’d like to just add another thing I’ve been working on. How does one handle and “introvert christian?”

Here’s how you handle us.

1. In a small group or Bible study or cell meeting, do NOT make us talk.
Introverts are much more methodical and tend to process things In a group discussion, our silence doesn’t mean we’re not listening.
We’re just trying to fit the pieces together in our own head. We aim to be thoughtful and deliberate.Please be sensitive to our secret mind palace. We’ll talk when we dang well feel like it.

2. Do not ever rebuke us in public.
Or you and I are done. Forever. You should never do this anyway. Just. No.

3. Extroverts: be patient in conversation and don’t treat my every word like your personal victory.
Extroverts, it’s OK if you monopolize the conversation. We do like to listen.

But please don’t treat us like your personal project with a precious pearl inside. And don’t try to squeeze out my life story as if you’re trying to save us. Earn trust by being a friend first.

Unlike extroverts, we’re not good at being best friends on the first day.

4. Fellow introverts: Find us quickly.
See me standing awkwardly on the side of the sanctuary watching everyone else have fun? Hurry up and find me so we can make amusing sarcastic comments about life and possibly grow a lifelong spiritual bond.

5. We can do anything an extrovert can do.
I’ve seen an entire spectrum of personalities take the “front stage” of church. Not every introvert is meant for “behind the scenes.”

Just coach us with extra grace.

6. We get super-tired around a lot of people.
My limit is about four hours, and then I actually get a headache from just hanging around human beings. My Sabbath rest is leave-me-alone-time with my non-judgmental dog.

Give us that time without trying to counsel us about it.

7. Don’t be offended if you see me being extra talkative or friendly with someone else.
Sometimes introverts just interact with people in different ways. It doesn’t mean we don’t like you—it just means we choose to reveal that specific part of us to another church buddy or that cool introvert I just met five minutes ago.

You should be cheering us for even opening up at all

8. Sometimes we’re just moody. It’s not depression or a “spiritual attack” or “unconfessed sin.”
One word: space. Lots of it.

9. We don’t always know what to say, but we still care about you.
We use less words and we don’t always use them well, but if we chose to spend this time with you, that means we care.

10. When life gets hard, you don’t have to say anything. Just be there.
Sometimes we just get totally flustered and want to give up—but that’s not the time for lectures or theology or super-awesome advice. Bring a movie or something; bake a cake; bring cookies. Be there for the meltdown, and we’ll eventually ask for the wisdom. We very much treasure your scalpel-like gentleness with us.

11. When we get hyper, we are weird and corny and loud and awkward—so be ready for that and embrace it. Just a fair warning.
On the third day of a church retreat or when it’s 5 in the morning at a lock-in, the inner-beast might be unleashed. But it’s not very cool and calculated and witty like an extrovert.

It’s all kinds of nerdy and neurotic with a shaky voice and twitchy flailing, as if we’re learning to use our bodies for the first time—and in a sense, we are.

When that happens, please don’t humiliate us. Roll with it, laugh with us and endure our horrible dance moves and bad impressions.

That’s all for today my friends,
-SS

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See Post tags #introvert #quiet people #quiet #introvert christian #christian #god #hope #god made #introvert in the church #quiet: the power of introverts in a world that cant stop talking

July 12, 2014


Every girl has a secret stash of hooded sweatshirts they’ve stolen from guys.

Chattiest (via chattiest)

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repeat from Chattiest

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repeat from Britwitch

A crowded room full of people talking about nothing of interest to me is one of the loneliest places in the world. I’d rather sit and observe in silence.

(via akiyamacho)

209 notes
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repeat from Papillon Scrapbook

July 11, 2014


vannamrtz:

I hope to see this guy again today.

Jesus was rooting for Argentina! Lol

vannamrtz:

I hope to see this guy again today.

Jesus was rooting for Argentina! Lol

1,633 notes
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repeat from from a mess to the masses.

July 9, 2014


He calls us His bride,
His immaculate wife.
But I’ve played the harlot
time after time.
Yet He still looks me in the eye
and says I am yours,
and you are Mine.

b. imb.  (via godmoves)

(Source: , via silentspeakings)

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repeat from A Dim Lit Room

July 1, 2014


darling-your-eyes-are-dead:

Basically.

That moment when you find that one person who understands! :)

darling-your-eyes-are-dead:

Basically.

That moment when you find that one person who understands! :)

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repeat from Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in

June 24, 2014


I learned not to trust people; I learned not to believe what they say but to watch what they do; I learned to suspect that anyone and everyone is capable of ‘living a lie’. I came to believe that other people - even when you think you know them well - are ultimately unknowable.

Lynn BarberAn Education (via words-and-coffee)

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repeat from Words and Coffee

June 9, 2014


Write because you want to communicate with yourself. Write because you want to communicate with someone else. Write because life is weird and tragic and amazing. Write because talking is difficult. Write because it polishes the heart. Write because you can. Write because you can’t. Write because there is a blackbird outside of my window right now and oh my god isn’t that the best start to the day? Write because you’re trying to figure yourself out. Write because you might not ever figure yourself out. Write because there still aren’t enough love poems in the world.

Dalton Day, interviewed for Banango Street (via yesdarlingido)

(Source: bostonpoetryslam, via logophilas)

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repeat from Boston Poetry Slam

May 8, 2014


musiqchild007:

iamnotagoodman:

laughing-trees:


In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.  For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done. The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as a good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness.  But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes. The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help. They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: “I am good.” Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia! NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: “I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.” In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: “So, I exist for you.”

:’))))))

File under “things western civilization has gotten 100% wrong.”

oh… :’)

musiqchild007:

iamnotagoodman:

laughing-trees:

In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.

For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done.

The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as a good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness.

But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes.

The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help.

They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: “I am good.”

Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia!

NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: “I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.” In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: “So, I exist for you.”

:’))))))

File under “things western civilization has gotten 100% wrong.”

oh… :’)

(Source: enigmatic-being, via notalwaysluminous)

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repeat from Woman of the Shooting Stars Am I